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Tips for Postpartum Depression

June 12, 2018
Little Miss Alyssa at 1 Month Old, My Sweet Angel

Postpartum Depression 

Postpartum was this mama’s worst fear when I was pregnant with Alyssa, but I knew it wasn’t under my control. After having Alyssa the depression was a roller coaster ride. It began with the fact that I was set on having a vaginal birth with Alyssa, and that didn’t happen I had an emergency c-section (a story for another post!) which set my hormones and depression on a whirlwind. Another factor was the fact that I was 21 years old, lived in tallahassee (I was in the middle of my Bachelor’s Program), and had no family around to help when it was needed. It was just me and Anthony, my mom had left after 3 days of being home from the hospital to Miami, FL (my hometown) after I had Alyssa, because she had to head back to work. It was a lot of change, and a lot of getting use to for me. You know?  I had never been a mom. The change made it extremely hard. I cried when she cried, I cried when she wasn’t crying, and I’m pretty sure sometimes my crying made her cry (I’m actually crying right now, I need to get it together!). It was also rough because Anthony didn’t understand at the time, he was young too. We were both first time parents and knew nothing about it. I cant blame him, and would never blame him for not understanding what I was going through. I also never thoroughly explained my emotions because my pride wouldn’t let me show that “I didn’t have it under control.” Whether he understood me or not, he has ALWAYS been the father Alyssa has needed, and the best person i could ever need and want. However, today he understands more and is more open to the fact that it might happen again when we welcome baby girl #2.

I had a rough 3-6 months where I just wasn’t myself no matter how much I tried. I finally decided that I needed to work on my happiness, for the better of being a mom, and a life partner. How could I be the best mom Alyssa needed if I wasn’t happy? How could I be the partner Anthony needed if I wasn’t happy? I knew I couldn’t be what they needed. So I started working on myself by doing five simple things.

  1. Leaving the house
    • Mama’s don’t be afraid to leave the house, cozy up your babies, pack your bags, and as long as it been cleared by a doctor go for it, talk a stroll down the neighborhood, have lunch at the park, sit at the beach, whatever helps do it! I started taking walks every morning with Alyssa and getting some fresh air. During this time I would play music for us, and sing to her while she sat in the stroller and smiled back at me. It made me feel normal again. I’m a homebody and by that I mean I never been the “night life” type of person. Although I did have my fair share of nights in college 😉 (before motherhood!). However, I have always been the type to enjoy doing activities during the day outside the home. I would also pack up her baby bag every once in a while and go have lunch at the mall, just me and her, enjoying some time alone people watching, and finished it off with a stroll through the mall. Walks around the neighborhood, and through the mall made me feel like I could still be myself, while being a mom, which brought happiness and less crying.
  2. Asking for help
    • Mama’s ask for help, don’t be afraid to call anyone close to you and ask them to come over to watch the baby while you took a nap, got work done, made dinner, etc. It doesn’t make you a bad a mom, it makes your a better one. Remember- it takes a village to raise a child. I learned to ask for help. When Alyssa would get sick, I would call my mom and ask what I should do. When I had to get an assignment done for school, I would ask Anthony to help me a little more around the house, or watch Alyssa for a little while I got the assignment done. My sister would come around (she was also in college with me), and help me whenever she was able to get some free time. When I didn’t want to be alone because I knew I was going to have a meltdown (Anthony was at work or doing something outside the house), I would call my sister or friends to come keep me company and at least one of them would.
  3. Mom Time
    • What was your favorite thing to do before motherhood? Did you pamper yourself, read a book in the library/ coffee shop, go to the movies? Whatever it was find sometime to incorporate it into your mommy life. I started working on some “Mommy Time” the mom guilt was real for quite some time, but I knew Alyssa was okay with her dad. I began going to get mani/pedis done every 2-3 weeks which was part of my routine before motherhood. I used this time to refresh and reset. I would leave the house, pass by a drive-thru, and head on over to get a mani/pedi. It’s still part of my routine today and Alyssa is 2.5 years old. Its a time that I don’t share with anyone, its very rare that I go with a friend/ or family member (when they’re in town) because it’s time I enjoy alone.
  4. Get some Rest
    • Sleep when they sleep! i know it isn’t always possible but on the days it is, try and do it. It wasn’t always possible for me, but when it was, I would nap when she napped and it would give me a boost of energy. Anthony also did most of the night shifts on days that I didn’t get enough rest, which was a lot of help!
  5. Don’t be hard on yourself/ Slowly get back into a routine
    • Mama’s its okay not be okay. Slowly find a routine that works best for you and your household, and if it doesn’t work out everyday, its okay! This was a hard one for me, because i have always been a person that lived off routines/schedules, and being in control of almost everything. Adjusting to the fact that the baby would run my schedule was a hard pill to swallow. When she was 4-6 months, I started working on a routine, and that worked for everyone. This made my anxiety take a step back and let me breathe, I also made sure not to be so disappointed when the routing didn’t go as  I wanted. I learned that things happen, and its okay, you have a blank canvas waiting on you the next day!

Motherhood takes a little getting use too, whether you’re a first time mom, second, or third, it always a new experience because you one more bundle of joy than you did before. Take your time, and do things when they feel right for you. Don’t compare yourself to anyone. You are unique. Everything will work itself out, if you ever need someone to talk or vent too, feel free to reach out.

I hope this helped any mama that needed to an extra push! Comment down below and let me know what you did to help your postpartum depression (if you had any), or leave some kind words that might help another mama. Also let me know if you would like to read about Alyssa’s birth story, and my c-section experience with her!

You are the best mama your little one(s) can have,

 

Little Miss Alyssa at 1 Month Old, My Sweet Angel

Post Partum Depression

 

 

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Kimberly

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45 Comments

  • Maria June 15, 2018 at 7:36 pm

    Love this! I also had some expectations before the birth of my first child and when those expectations didn’t pan out, waterworks everywhere! Your tips are definitely super helpful to new moms. I remember instantly feeling better after leaving the house for the first time! Thanks for a good read! Will pin if you don’t mind! =)

    • admin June 15, 2018 at 11:27 pm

      It’s always hard with your first because you have so many expectations and so many changes all at the same time. But we are strong and we got through it! and yes of course pin and share as much as you’d like! 🙂

      -Kim

  • Stephanie Stebbins June 15, 2018 at 9:03 pm

    What a precious, sweet angel! I didn’t go through too much postpartum depression with my son, but with my daughter, it was pretty intense. Great advice <3

    • admin June 15, 2018 at 11:24 pm

      Thank You so much! Ut was definitely hard for me to deal with, but I am glad I found a way to manage it all. Thank you for reading 🙂

  • Samantha June 16, 2018 at 4:15 am

    I know how hard postpartum depression can be. I’m so glad you were able to figure out ways to help yourself through it. I had it really bad with my first, but I also had suffered from depression years before my first. I talked a lot, and made sure to let my husband know exactly what I needed from him. This is such a great post.

    • admin June 16, 2018 at 1:04 pm

      Thank you so much! Its definitely a hard thing to go through. I wish they would talk more about it when you have the baby. I’m glad you were able to talk to your husband about it and get through it!

  • With Love From P June 16, 2018 at 6:49 am

    Great tips, I also suffered some mild depression after having my little an and these tips really helped. Your little girl is beautiful.

    • admin June 16, 2018 at 1:06 pm

      Thank you so much! I hope to follow my own tips again in October when we have our second. She has changed my world, thank you!

  • Jessie June 18, 2018 at 2:04 pm

    Postpartum depression is no joke. I really believe getting out of the house is a big thing when fighting postpartum depression.
    That’s what really helped me. I’m so glad you found ways to help your depression. ❤️

    • admin June 18, 2018 at 2:06 pm

      Thank you so much! I’m so glad you did too. It can be so hard to get through it.

  • Dom Dalston June 18, 2018 at 3:04 pm

    Well, I suppose the assumption is that once a mother has her baby she will be happy. In reality, it turns out that isn’t necessarily true. It takes work to stay in a happy state whether or not your are a parent. Though if you are a parent it is even more important that you do, because children are very sensitive to emotion from birth. It’s really good of you to share those excellent tips.

    • admin June 19, 2018 at 3:54 pm

      You are absolutely correct! Thank you ☺️

  • Rachel June 18, 2018 at 6:25 pm

    Asking for help can be so difficult, but its really the only way to get through. Looking back I think I had a little postpartum depression, and wish I had asked for more help when I needed it.

    • admin June 19, 2018 at 3:55 pm

      It’s probably one of the hardest things for me to realize because I didn’t want to feel like I failed 😕

  • tif June 19, 2018 at 1:48 am

    Thank you for sharing yur inspiring story and what we can do to help. Congrats on being a mother & can’t wait to see your second!

    • admin June 19, 2018 at 3:55 pm

      Thank you so much!

  • Tara @sewmanypins June 19, 2018 at 3:19 am

    So many great tips. It is important to remember to not be so hard on ourselves, and it does take some time to figure out this mommy thing.

    • admin June 19, 2018 at 3:55 pm

      Thank you!

  • Gladys Parker June 19, 2018 at 4:58 am

    This is a wonderful post and I hope many expecting or new mommies read this. I went through something so similar with two of my babies. Due to my pride I didn’t tell anyone until I had a brake down. I mentally need help, not physically but emotionally. I started seeing a psychotherapist and things starting getting better.

    • admin June 19, 2018 at 3:58 pm

      Aww! It’s hard, it definitely is! I’m glad you were able to find someone you could talk too!

  • Jennifer L June 19, 2018 at 7:15 am

    My friend dealt with post partum depression a few years ago and it was a tough time for her and her family. But she did ask for help and she and her family made a unified effort to help each other . And she is stronger than ever.

    • admin June 19, 2018 at 3:59 pm

      Aww I’m glad they were able to get through it! She is a strong mama with a strong family! The most important part is getting through it!

  • Chelsae June 19, 2018 at 10:29 am

    I didn’t have PPD, but I have quite a few friends who did/do. These sound like great tips for them. I’m so glad you are speaking about it because it so often gets hidden.

    • admin June 19, 2018 at 3:59 pm

      Thank you!!

  • Melisa Liberman June 19, 2018 at 12:35 pm

    Thanks for these tips and the photos of your family are gorgeous!

    • admin June 19, 2018 at 3:59 pm

      Thank you!!

  • Vanessa Delia June 19, 2018 at 11:09 pm

    A friend of mine just went through it. It is really nothing to mess around with.

    • admin June 20, 2018 at 1:36 pm

      It definitely isn’t! I wish some people took it more serious.

  • Becca Wilson June 20, 2018 at 7:21 pm

    This is definitely serious! I think people think it’s an excuse more than anything which is so wrong.

    • admin June 21, 2018 at 3:05 pm

      It’s definitely serious, I wish more people worried about it more!

  • Ruth-Ann Ridley June 20, 2018 at 7:22 pm

    So many women go through this and more people need to recognize it. This is so important!

    • admin June 21, 2018 at 3:05 pm

      I couldn’t agree more!

  • Garf June 20, 2018 at 10:53 pm

    I am not a parent yet but thanks for sharing this information.

    • admin June 21, 2018 at 3:05 pm

      You’re welcome!

  • hey sharonoox June 20, 2018 at 11:18 pm

    Aww… she’s such a cute little baby! I don’t remember suffering from postpartum depression but I really like reading your tips. I believe in asking family for help is the best option.

    • admin June 21, 2018 at 3:05 pm

      It most definitely is!

  • Blair Villanueva June 21, 2018 at 3:01 am

    Congratulations for having a little angel! You are blessed and hope you are enjoying motherhood. You are fabulous inside and out. 🙂

    • admin June 21, 2018 at 3:06 pm

      Thank you so much!

  • Shilpa Bindlish June 21, 2018 at 6:58 am

    I understand how it feels like to imagine postpartum routine. But being a mommy gives you the courage to do anything.

    • admin June 21, 2018 at 3:06 pm

      It definitely does!

  • nathalie June 21, 2018 at 7:42 am

    kudos for being strong. These tips are helpful, I might do them soon.

    • admin June 21, 2018 at 3:06 pm

      Thank you! Hopefully they work for you 🙂

  • Olga Parker July 10, 2018 at 4:56 pm

    This is the most unforgettable day! Best memory! I always remember that day with love!

  • Tara July 13, 2018 at 8:03 pm

    These are great tips to help get some peace or get out of the postpartum depression. I had a bad depression when my son was born, but it was from other issues going on at the time. Things are much better and my son is now 17 years.

    • Kimberly July 13, 2018 at 10:28 pm

      So glad you were able to find a way to get through it!

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    Meet Kimberly

    Mom blogger

    Kimberly is a lover of all things Girly, Sparkle, and Target. If you are ever wondering where she is, it's Probably Target. Mama of Two princesses + currently expecting baby #3. Married to her college sweetheart. She received her BA from The Florida State University and is currently pursuing her Graduate Degree in Exceptional Student Education. She loves to share about her motherhood journey, education, lifestyle, + family travel.

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